Red and Lyra's Comedic Player Character Monologue
by EveChan170
Summary: Lyra and Ethan go explore Mt. Silver, where they run across Red.  Lyra and Ethan try talking to him, but because he's a Player Character, he doesn't use words, just "..."  So, Lyra tries to converse with him, leading to a surprising ending and problem.


Eve: Here's a one-shot I decided to do for pokemon in order to get me back in the mood. This is what happens when Lyra or Ethan goes to meet Red and challenges him to a battle. It's a parody of how Red is always silent because he's a player charater. Also, is it weird for Lyra to have Typhlosion?

Disclaimer: I bought a new game and a new computer, so I have no money, so don't sue.

Red and Lyra's Comedic Player Character Monologue

* * *

"I'm almost there!" Lyra said, smiling. Her Typhlosion was walking behind her, smiling happily.

"Lyra, wait up!" Ethan, her childhood friend, called. Hi Maril was jumping around in front of him, happily.

"Ah! Were at the peak!" Lyra said, walking out of the cave towards the apex of the snowy mountain, with the light snow falling down.

"Bakun!" Typhlosion said, happily, being nice and warm.

"Hey, who's that?" Ethan asked, pointing towards the man standing out on the mountain edge, with a Pikachu on his shoulder.

"I don't know. Let's go see what he's doing here." Lyra said, walking up to him.

"Excuse me, sir?" Lyra asked, poking the man on the shoulder.

"…" The man said, ignoring.

"What's your name?" Ethan asked.

"…" The man said, not paying attention.

"Wait, that Pikachu…" Ethan said, looking at the equally silent pokemon on his shoulder. "My guess is your name is Red, am I right?"

"…" Red said, nodding.

"Were you the guy responsible for disbanding Team Rocket three years ago?" Ethan asked.

"…" Red said, nodding.

"Do you want to battle?" Lyra asked.

"…" Red said, nodding.

"Okay, why don't you talk?" Ethan demanded.

"…" Red said.

"Where are you from, anyway?" Lyra asked. "Oh, Pallet Town? That's a nice place."

"Wait, how did you know that?" Ethan asked.

"I don't know how I know that!" Lyra said, grabbing her head.

"Okay, can you tell us why you don't talk?" Ethan asked.

"…" Red said, shaking his head.

"Why not?" Lyra asked.

"…" Red said.

"Wait, Red, what are you doing here?" Lyra asked. "Oh, you're training, huh? Wait, how did I know that?"

"Lyra, I think Red is silent for a reason." Ethan said.

"Really? What?" Lyra asked.

"You know how you're always silent, right? And whenever people ask you something, they always respond with the answer without you talking, right?"

"Yeah." Lyra said.

"In fact, the only time you talk is when you're with me, right?" Ethan said.

"So… What does that mean?" Lyra asked.

"Well, those people are known as NPC's, or Non Player Characters. They are the people that have words put into them. Whereas PC's, or Player Characters, don't say anything." Ethan said.

"How do you know all this?" Lyra asked.

"Don't ask me. I'm just a non player character. I've been programmed like this." Ethan said.

"So, what you're saying is that Red is a player character, right?" Lyra said.

"Right. He's being played through a game by someone, so try talking to him." Ethan said.

"So, Red, do you enjoy being on Mt. Silver?" Lyra asked.

"…" Red said, nodding.

"Why?" Lyra asked. "Oh, you don't like being around people?"

"Um, Lyra…" Ethan said.

"What, Ethan?" Lyra asked, turning around.

"Y-you… y-you're…" Ethan said, sticking out his finger shakily.

"Yes? I'm what?" Lyra asked.

"Y-you're answering your own questions without him answering…"

"Wait, does that mean…" Lyra started.

"Y-yeah…"

"No! I'm becoming a non player character!" Lyra shouted. "My world is coming down around me!" She began screaming and running back and forth, like a beheaded chicken. Tyhlosion, loyal as always, began running after her with Red standing at the ledge, silent.

* * *

"ERROR." The screen of the light blue DS said, turning white. "Game save data has been corrupted. Game file will now self-destruct." The black cartridge in the DS then blew up with a light pop, with smoke comming out of the DS.

"What the hell?" Lauren asked, looking at her DS. She was sprawled out on her bed, looking at the useless machine, now destroyed.

"Hey, John…" Lauren said, getting off the bed and walking out of the room. "Can I borrow your car? I need to go to gamestop to get a new DS and game.

"Why?" The guy sitting there asked, looking up from his DSi.

"My old one blew up." She said, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder.

"Yeah. right." John said, looking back at the DSi, watching Lyra run around insanely on the screen, followed by Typhlosion, with Ethan and Maril watching.

"Alright, I'd like a pokemon HeartGold Version to replace my old one." Lauren said, placing her credit card onto the counter.

"Okay, what happened to your old one?" The man who was standing at the counter said, unlocking the cabinet with the games in it.

"It blew up." Lauren said, blushing.

The man laughed so hard it looked like he was going to pop a blood vessel.

"I'd like a new DS, too." Lauren said, reaching into her purse for more money.

"Let me guess." The man said, between laughs. "It blew up, right?"

"Yes..." Lauren said, looking down.

"Okay, here's the DS and game." The guy said, chuckling, handing Lauren the DS and game, along with her credit card back.

"Thanks." Lauren said, leaving.

* * *

Eve: Believe it or not, this really happened to me. Not the whole Lyra monologue NPC/PC thing, but the error sign and the DS thing did, and it rewrote my whole file. Hilariously, it happened exactly when I challenged Red. Luckily, though, that gave me inspiration for this story, but I couldn't write it for a while. Unfortunately it also cost me fifty bucks to buy a new game. Sorry for all the personal ramblings, but that's just who I am as a person..

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